Too much for Heaven, too little for Hell...

I met a man from my past two months ago.
I'd never met him before.
His name is the one that plagues me.
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
Jamie the First, Jamie the Second.
I think we can all agree that that name is cursed for me.
Jamie the Second almost died.
Jamie the First might be dead.
I never wanted any of this to happen.
I thought that I had built my walls up enough so that no one could break them down.
Nothing good comes from someone breaking them down.
Because then they see the real you, in all of it's ugly, glittering glory.
Then they know your real name.
Not the one that you were born with.
The one that you are made with.
It's the name that you find yourself screaming in your sleep at night.
I guess they call them night terrors.
It's different from a nightmare, because these are real.
The monster is in fact you.
I used to have the most beautiful dreams.
I used to dream about love.
Love, love, love.
All you need is love.
All you need is love.
But what if love doesn't want you?
What if it picks itself up and walks away.
What if it slips through your fingers.
What if you hate it as much as you desperately need it.
Nothing good can come from that.
Build up the walls again, men. Make them higher and ten times as thick this time. We don't need them falling down.
Forget, forget, forget.
This never happened.
None of this ever happened.
I've never been in love. I don't know what love is. Could someone please give me the definition? I think I am unclear.
Everything is unclear.
Hazy, fuzzy, dark, can't see the forest through the trees.
I don't know who Jamie the First is.
I don't know who Jamie the Second is.
Mommy, what is love?
She doesn't know, either.
Where is my shield, my sword?
How am I supposed to defend my heart and soul without them.
Time to run away.
Run away, little girl, otherwise the Big Bad Wolf will get you and eat you alive.